Letter from Kent Hovind (Ax) to Jesus (Woodsman)

"Dear Woodsman,

Why have you done this? We were doing so well felling tress for the Master's house and you quit chopping with me in the middle of cutting that big oak. Why? I was doing my best. I never flew off the handle. I cut as deep as I could every swing. What did I do wrong?

Why do you have me clamped in this vice? I can't move! I can't chop wood here. I was designed for chopping wood. I love it! Please don't leave me clamped in this vice. I feel pressure on my sides that I've never felt before. I can handle the pressure on my cutting edge. Go ahead. Chop with me all day long. I can take it. Actually, I love it!

Now what? No! Wait! Why are you grinding and filing off part of me? Why would you take away pieces of the most effective part of me—my cutting edge?

Woodsman, the Master needs the trees cut! This delay is holding up the job we were doing for Him! Please stop grinding on me and get me out of this vice. I want to go back to work. I love cutting wood. Ouch! You are hurting me!

Woodsman, are you listening to me? Do you know what you are doing?

The Ax"

May 15, 2007 - Written from Tallahassee Prison

Apparently not a joke.

This reminds me of a infamous slogan for the deodorant Axe (in Norway at least). Jesus doesn't use it anymore.

Ax: Don't use it, if you don't mean it!

Picked up from The Atheist Experience: Hovind's mind is beginning to crumble